Man Weeps With Joy As He Meets His 5 Month Old Baby After Finishing 5-Year Jail Sentence
The bond between a father and his son is a sacred one. Sometimes sheer love can pave the way for new life, regardless of any reproduction ever happening, at least in micro-organisms. There's a whole religion that follows the miracle of human life happening without any intercourse. Now, we have another example.
Mr. Joseph Waggoner, a man who spent 5 years in prison, came home to his wife. Unbeknownst to him, he found a little bundle of joy waiting for him. His wife, Mrs. Joseline Waggoner, introduced him to Joshua, his 5-month old son.
Naturally, Joseph protested, saying that it's not possible to have a baby when he hasn't had any sexual contact with his wife in more than 5 years. However, after allusions to the birth of Christ by the Virgin Mary, Joseph caved and wept with joy.
In the world of medical fiction, there's a term for this miraculous immaculate conception. Dr. House from the show House M.D. calls this "Parthenogenesis." It's the way naturally asexual beings reproduce. Of course, he lied about it in his case too, and the women hid the fact that she had sex from her virgin fiancé.
Speaking with the local news reporter, Joseph expressed his shock and awe: "This, right here, is my baby. I trust my wife, and I trust my life. I always felt like the special kind, and I consider this baby right here a gift from the good lord himself."
Joseline also addressed the miracle, though saying that it was a hardship as she didn't know what was going on. She thanked her friend, Ernesto, saying that he was there to help throughout "in more than one way."
It's the last section of the article again where we relentlessly ask questions to sway your focus to the point we're making because, well, who reads these whole anyway? Did Joseline really had a sexually unmitigated birth? A matter of perspective, really. Is there a better man on this Earth than Ernesto, who helped her without any gain? Well, it appears to be the case, though the implication...you already know what we mean. Most importantly, is Joseph happy with this outcome? I mean, sure. We're trying to be really impartial here but this screams tree of knowledge in the forbidden garden all over again.
Written by Nitish Vashishtha
*Dankmeme.com is a satirical blog and our articles are strictly for entertainment purposes.
